Julie's file of
Nothing says CLASS like some
Artsy-Fartsy Photos!
Join me now as we tour Julie's Gallery of Artsy-Fartsy Photographs.  Please form a single-file line on the right of the corridor.  Pardon me?  A question from the woman in the lime green pantsuit..."What exactly makes a photo artsy?" Follow me to the first exhibit and I will show you.   
almost in the picture
Our first photo is called "Andy Horewall's Julie."  First done in 1968, it caused a revolution in the photography world, resulting in a "new wave" of some the most poorly framed photos ever taken.  
The leading proponent of the "new wave" of photographs taken by people who didn't believe in using the viewfinder was Frenchman Jacq le Crock.  
Quite a scandal resulted when it was revealed that le Crock was, in actuality, a chimpanzee at the Paris Zoo.
My, what lovely green tinted hair you have. 
Gaze with awe upon our next exhibit: an example of the muted tones once used in the early days of photography, when the black and white images were converted to color by hand-tinting. Sometimes, the results were a little off, giving people purple-tinted lipstick and green-shaded hair. In this case, the effect is achieved by the artist through some cheap-ass one-hour developing at the local drugstore. So much for $6.99 a roll.   
Next up, the gallery of Black and White photography.  It's amazing how dramatic any subject looks when the color has been removed and the contrast becomes the central focus.  (Hey, I'm not buying this hooey either, but the tourists are eating it up, so work with me. Thanks.)     
That's it.  Stop by the gift shop on your way out for your exclusive Julie's Museum of Art t-shirts for just $22.95.  Buh-bye. Did somebody say rip-off? Get on the bus. Buh-bye.   
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Hey! You with the ketchup stains on your Motley Crue T-shirt!   Get up here with the rest of the group! 
Now, feast your eyes upon this bizarre series of portraits that came into our possession. Legend has it that these renderings were the brainchild of a late '60s flower child in Haight-Ashbury. Perhaps even the work of the famous necktie designer Jerry Garcia!   An exhaustive investigation by some of the world's leading art experts has revealed a less-groovy explaination:  first graders simply LOVE coloring books!