 |
 |
 |
| julie's file of |
 |
| Excite your Lover... |
| Buy Some Clothes!! |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| Do people refer to you and your sweetie as Tweedle Dull and Tweedle Duller? If you had an Internet porn site, would it be used as a sleep aide? Is your love life as exciting as the closed-captioning on a PBS documentary on fungi? (Sorry. Hold just a minute. I've got to primp in the mirror. First things first, you know. OK. As I was saying...) Well I have the answer. You can multi-task by simultaneously improving your wardrobe AND your love life. Here are a few ideas..... |
 |
 |
| Squeeze into a short little dress, pop on a pair of pumps and magically your radiator flush changes from a lame chore into a fashion statement. |
 |
| A sparkly, shiny outfit, lots of gorgeous hair, and a hyper-ventilated version of Happy Birthday to You will get prompt service at your nearby Cracker Barrel restaurant. |
| And when I say squeeze, I mean squeeeeeezzze. Your figure will be radically improved by choosing the Playtex Sooper-Squeezer Waist-Tightener 3000, imported from some sweatshop in an undisclosed South American dictatorship. I'm wearing it in every picture on this page. (Not a paid endorsement. Can I breathe now?) |
| If nothing of these fashion ideas gets him hot and bothered, just remember these two syllables, the two most imporant syllables Love Dr. Julie can share with you: CLEAVAGE! It can be a cardboard box with armholes cut into it---as long as it's low cut!!!! |
 |
| Participate |
| B a Voyuer |
|
| In other words, a sexy new wardrobe can work wonders. Not sure what to keep and what to lose? If you answer YES to any of these questions, feed the offending garment into the office paper shredder first thing in the morning: |
 |
| Last time you wore it, were you complimented by someone sporting a mullet? Did you purchase it back when YOU were wearing a mullet? Was it willed to you by an aunt named Bertha? If you buried it in the back yard, would grass refuse to grow over the spot? When you casually mention you might wear it, does the cat hide under the bed? Did John Carpenter make a movie about it? |
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
|
|||||||||||||||
| click 4 bigger pic |
 |
|
|
|||||||||||||||
 |
| click 4 bigger pic |
 |
 |
| A really short mini always perks up the crowd at the post office. I was looking for a shorter dress-- I found one: it's called a scarf! |
|
|
|||||||||||||||
| click 4 bigger pic |
| click 4 bigger pic |
|
|
|||||||||||||||
| click 4 bigger pic |
|
|
|||||||||||||||
| click 4 bigger pic |
 |
|
|
|||||||||||||||
| click 4 bigger pic |